Gotta Love the Language - Beware of Profanity...

So since I first arrived in Australia, there has been a few words that I wasn't expecting to be so common as a part of regular Australian language. "Whilst" is one of them, and it sounds hilarious each time I hear it. "Cheers"," mate", and the famous "how are you going?". Cheers is used to say goodbye, or thanks, and used so very often in emails at work, as is "ta" for the same purpose. People call each other "mate" all the time, whether you know them or not, whether they are a friend, associate, a client, or someone at the checkout at Woolies... (aka Woolworth's - a grocery store). The one that really has me reeling though is the abundant use of the word "cunt". Yup, it isn't a pretty word and not one that has ever been in my vocabulary, but there it is. It isn't always used in anger, and often used in jest with friends you know won't be pissed if you call them one. It is also often used to refer to idiots or people that piss you off, very often. And then a couple of nights ago, an interesting scene played out just outside my courtyard, out into the car park, and into the street. This was the dialogue from my neighbor...I couldn't hear the fella's replies, but I certainly heard her!
"Fuck off!! Fuck off!! Fuck off ya CUNT! Get the fuck out of here you CUNT! Don't come back here you black CUNT! FUCK OFF!!! I hate you ya CUNT!!!"
     Yes, very colorful indeed. I had my windows open and couldn't help but hear her. Then a friend came on scene after the cunt left, and calmed her down and I heard the story about what earned him such a name...he had been visiting in her flat which is a few doors down in our building, and stole some things from her place such as her internet stick, and she caught him with it in his pocket. I don't know if he was Aboriginal, or if that was simply a descriptor used to insult a whitefella. Either way, it was highly entertaining. At first when the yelling started I was worried she was being abused, but she certainly could handle herself and chased the cunt right off the premises.
     So yeah, the language has been interesting to settle in with. More commonly used words or phrases that I hear often here, and rarely in Canada are:

• The whole bathroom thing. Everyone says they are going to the toilet. They never say bathroom, ladies room, or washroom, just toilet. I can't get used to using it myself, as it just sounds a little crass. I don't need to know what you're doing in there, so don't need to hear the word toilet as that just conjures up images of what you will be leaving in the toilet...
• Ordering draught beer. One must ask for a schooner of beer. I'm sorry, when you say schooner, I am looking for a BOAT with sails. Not a glass or mug. 
• Shopping - shopping carts are called trolleys, and the parking lot is the car park, and the line-up at the checkout is called a queue. And let's talk about these stupid trolleys with their four swivel wheels so you end up chasing your cart by holding it by the side and not by the handle. 
• Red peppers...they looked at me like a fool when I asked for some. Red, orange, yellow or green, they are all called capsicums...strange word. Peppers to folks here are the hot ones, like jalapeno.
• Getting shirty. Wtf? Apparently it means getting cross with someone, cranky. 
• The use of the word piss and shit. And neither refers to things you do in the toilet. One can be "cracking the shits" meaning getting very angry about something. One can be "taking a/the piss" meaning they are kidding you about something. One can also go "on the piss" meaning one is getting drunk. And then you can tell someone to piss off, which is also quite common in Canada. 
• Crook. I would think it meant a criminal...nope. One can be "crook" when they are sick. If you are still crook, you are still not feeling well. 
• The kitchen counter - is often called a bench. Not because one sits on it, but because that is just what they call it. I have no idea why.
• A camping cooler is called an "Esky" simply because that is a common brand. If I ask for a cooler, folks have no idea what I'm talking about. They don't call their fruity bottled liquor drinks coolers either, but by another brand name as well. I can't for the life of me recall what that name was, as I don't drink coolers much.
• The liquor store. One would think that wouldn't be different, since they sell lots of liquor here, however it is called the "bottle shop" because of all the bottles I guess. And there are many bottle shops here, including two drive-through ones in Alice Springs. 
• The lounge. I think sequins and Las Vegas and polyester wearing lounge singers...not here. A lounge room is your living room, and a lounge is your sofa. Go figure. I guess because you lounge there on the lounge in the lounge. 
• Gas. Yeah, I knew they called it petrol here, but I thought someone might still know what I want when I ask where the nearest gas station is. Nope. They send me to where I can fill my propane tank. 

It has been very exciting to learn this new language. And now I have a few translators for my Canadian. They often have to ask me to repeat myself because they can't understand the Canadian accent...funny, I thought they were the ones with the accents...