Those Crazy Aussies

Well, I'm 9 months in here in central Australia and even though we both speak English, these crazy Aussies sure have some strange terms for things that continue to puzzle me. Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Lollies - now, I would assume lollies were lollipops. Simple abbreviation, right? Wrong. Lollies can refer to any kind of candy from a lollipop to gummy bears to a chocolate bar.
2. Beetroot - we just call it beets. The root is the beet, just like the carrot is the root, but we don't call them carrotroot. And they put it on a sandwich or a burger. Gross.
3. Chewie - now my first image is Chewbacca from Star Wars...not even close. Chewies here refer to chewing gum. Yeah, they like to add ie on many things here.
4. Toastie - really? Why can't it just be toast? But it's not, it's toastie.
5. Fruit toast - what on earth I thought? Well it simply means raisin bread that has been toasted.
6. Esky - um what? Just means a cooler, like a cooler you take camping and pack your beer in with ice. Ask for a cooler and they look at you like you spoke Klingon.
7. Schooner - I picture a boat with sails. Nope. It's a small glass of beer. You order a schooner of beer, or a pot of beer. Yeah, pot. If I asked for a pot of beer in Canada someone would bring me a saucepan of beer.
8. Slab - in Canada it could mean a couple of things - on the east coast, it often refers to a kitchen countertop. In the autopsy room it means the stainless steel table they lay the body on. In other places it refers to a portion - slab of meat, slab of wood, or slab of bread. Here in Australia, a slab is a case of beer. Yeah, have no idea where that one comes from.
9. Bench - I picture something to sit on, a bench. Like what you find in the park, or in the courtroom. Not here. Bench is your kitchen countertop. I have no idea why.
10. Ute - I picture nothing for this one really, but in Australia, it refers to a truck. I don't know why they don't call a truck a truck, but here they call them utes.
11. Chooks - my personal favorite. This is what they call chickens.
12. Root - I think of either the root of a tree, or rooting for the home team. Talk about root here and someone is having sex. For example, "he was rooting her for that last two weeks" (naughty boy)
13. Slash - well, I think of someone with a knife cutting. Not here, going for a slash is what men sometimes call going to the bathroom.
14. Tea - well, tea. Like Tetley or Red Rose is what I think of. Nope. Refers to supper, or an afternoon or morning snack. Sounds hilarious when someone tells me they are going home to cook tea.
15. Ambo - I just think someone forgot the "R" in Rambo. Over here it means ambulance.
16. Firies - Again, I think someone forgot a letter in Fairies. Nope - refers to fire fighters. And sparkies are electricians.
17. Bathers - I think of people who bathe. Not in Australia - it's a swimsuit, mostly a men's swim trunks.
18. Bikkie - Say what? refers to biscuits, but not what we think of as a biscuit - like a tea biscuit, but a cookie. They don't call them cookies, they call them bikkies.
19. Bottle Shop - well, I would think it is where you can buy bottles, as in empty bottles. Nah, it refers to the liquor store.
20. Dob - I had never heard it before, but it means to tattle on someone - you dob them in.
21. Hairy armpitters - this one made me laugh out loud. This refers to hippies, apparently because they think all hippies do not shave their armpits.
22. Grog - I think of some character in a Harry Potter movie - but it refers to alcohol in any form.
23. Icy pole - I think of a pole, such as a fence post, that is icy. Over here it refers to a Mr Freeze, or freezie as they are commonly known in Canada.
24. Mob - I think of either the mafia or a swarm of people out to get you, like an angry mob. In Australia it refers to a group of people, such as your family, or where you work. "You mob" might mean your family, and we get called FACS mob all the time (even though our name is now DCF - Department of Children and Families)
25. Mozzies - means mosquitoes.
26. Op shop - I had no idea about this one, but it refers to second hand stores.
27. Pokies - well, my mind went in the gutter on this one, but is simply refers to the slot machines or video lottery machines.
28. Rego - I was asked this and had no idea what they meant. It is my car registration, as in the licence plate number.
29. Salvos - I don't know, I guess it sounds like people who put salve on others, ha ha. No, it refers to Salvation Army folks, or the Salvation Army thrift store. St. Vincent de Paul's is referred to as Vinny's.
30. Shout - of course, I thought it meant to shout, to yell, to holler. Nah, it means if it is your shout, you get to pay for it. If it is my shout, I get to pay for it.
31. Tucker - I think of someone who gets tired out. No, it refers to food, as in bush tucker which is local food from the bush.
32. Whinge - never heard this one before, but it means to whine.
33. Crook - well, naturally I think of a criminal, a crook. Not here. It means you're sick, you're feeling crook.
34. bitumen - again, had no idea what they were talking about. This simply means a paved road, asphalt road.
35. Tomato sauce - this one got me a lot in the beginning. I thought tomato sauce was, well, tomato sauce like you add to a pot of spaghetti sauce. No, it's ketchup.

And then there are the common expressions they use that you may have heard before such as:

1. Cracking the shits - refers to someone being rather pissed off at someone about something
2. Taking the piss - if it weren't for the word "the" I would assume someone is urinating. Not here. Taking the piss means giving someone a hard time for fun.
3. This arvo - this means this afternoon. I have no idea why because there is no "v" in afternoon.

Australians are crazy, and that's why I love it here!