Oh Telstra, You Kill Me

     So I had Foxtel/Austar satellite tv since I moved into my own place back in June of 2011. It was great, I just loved it. Had tons of channels, no signal loss, good variety, I had tons of programs set up to PVR automatically and I couldn't ask for better. Then the tree grew up in front of it. The tree was cut down last year, with a tall stump of about 10 feet...the tree has regrown and is now blocking the satellite dish, and the signal started cutting in and out. There was nothing to be done about it - wasn't my tree. The dish was on the neighbor's roof as it was, and she wasn't about to let me move my dish again, or cut down the tree. So I made the hard decision and switched to the new Telstra T-Box. It was cheaper, promised to be just as good, just with less channels. Well, was I in for a shock. What an absolute piece of shit. Yes, shit. It was like all the things I hated about technology they managed to bundle into this piece of shit. Not to mention the countless hours I spent on the phone trying to get it to work, looking for the right cords, setting up the service, and so on.
     It is absolute shit. It is run on my broadband internet service, without adding to the download cost - called unmetered. Great when the internet work...sucks ass when it doesn't. The signal not only cuts out, but when it cuts back in, it stalls and waits for a few moments before coming back in. And Telstra signal is the shits...in and out all night long. So great, crappy signal. What next...well let's talk about the onscreen guide. Light grey screen with somewhat dark grey lettering that is too small and fuzzy I can't read it from the sofa. So I have to stand in front of the television to change the channel. It didn't matter what media I was watching - on demand, regular channels, or usb stick...shitty display all around. Then I found out that I could not record any Foxtel programs, just the free to air digital channels...WTF??? I was paying for a subscription with Foxtel on T-Box, but could not record? When I had a Foxtel account, I could record ALL channels, now none? Not to mention I could not search for programs. It was like a huge step into the dungeon with this POS. The menus are also awful and not user friendly at all.
     So today I made the decision to dump the stupid T-box. I had wanted to run it over with my car since I first brought it in the house. The only redeeming quality is that I could stick in my usb sticks and portable hard drives and control them by remote control instead of using my small laptop to play them, which was not remote control. Then I found out that a cheapo set top box would accomplish this as well, so off to Dick Smith Electronics I went, and $49 later, I had me a set top box. After work I hooked it up in under 10 minutes...wow. It was that easy. AND bonus - because I use a Canadian television, I've had to use a digital converter to change the signal from PAL back to NTSC...but not with my set top box - I could bypass the converter and hook it straight up with hdmi and just switch the format to NTSC on the set top box - yahoo! And the guide is very easy to read, and I can search, and still record the free to air digital channels...and the hdmi is super sweet. So I thought I'll just make a quick call to Telstra to cancel the POS...yeah, like a quick call can be made to Telstra...
     So I called the number listed on my Telstra bill...and because they were all busy, I requested a call back, promised within 30 minutes. An hour later, I explained my request to yet another immigrant who can't speak or understand English. Confused him, and then found out he could only cancel my Foxtel service, but not the T-box..so I was then transferred to another department where the immigrant could cancel my T-box service, but could not tell me how much my bill would be or where to bring my T-box back. In fact, she had me convinced that I had signed a 2 year contract and could keep the T-box because they would not take it back and even if I cancelled the service, I would be on the hook for the remainder of the 2 year contract to pay off the box. I don't fucking think so. Round and round we went, stumbling through English conversation and misunderstandings and misinformation, she explains she can go ahead and cancel it but she can't tell me just how much it is going to cost me to cancel. I explained in painful detail and repetitively that I did not sign up for a 2 year contract, and I did not buy the T-box. She agreed to transfer me to the billing department so they could explain it to me...oh yeah, sure they will. She said they will still have to transfer me back to her so she can cancel the T-box service...great, just what I need.
     So she transfers me to yet another troubled English speaker who confirmed what I had tried to tell the last one, that I did not sign a contract, that I did not buy the box, and that I needed to bring the box back to Telstra, just the box and remote, not all the cords. While I had him on the phone I asked him if I could please just cancel the bloody internet stick too as I have not used it since moving in here and getting ADSL. He tried to convince me that I bought it in August of 2011. I knew I hadn't as I was still in government housing when I bought it, and I moved out of there in May and signed up immediately for ADSL. No convincing him...but he agreed to cancel it despite the contract not being up because I was not required to pay for a lesser service once I had signed up for another internet service with them. Oh REALLY? Then why have I been paying for this damn thing for nearly 2 years when I didn't need it??? Sigh...I decided not to fight that battle today. I had won enough - Telstra gets it POS (piece of shit) back and I get to watch with my set-top box with no monthly bill and no signal loss.
    So then they have to dump me back to T-box folks to actually cancel the service...I was excited to hear an American voice on the other end of the phone - at least she would  be able to speak and understand English. Yeah...turns out that was premature thinking...she was as dumb as a bag of hammers...she tried to convince me that I did not have to return the box because I bought it...yeah...I'm gonna hang up now because otherwise I am going to start calling you names and swearing profusely...Telstra, you kill me. No wonder everyone talks shit about you.

South Australian Memories

beautiful sunset at Umuwa

me and my team near the SA border, bush road

camels hanging out in Amata

hanging in the shade

they really crowd in there!

camels on the move

kangaroo tails in the store fridges

beautiful mural on the store in community

wild horses in town

always packs of camp dogs looking for food

whirly whirl (mini tornado)

wild horses own the roads

see that tiny one in the back row!

Well I was rather cranky in my last post! The heat does that to me. Especially when it tops out at 47C and the air conditioner doesn't work. Things have cooled some, and I'm happy again. I couldn't get any of my photos off my camera when I was in SA as I brought my work computer, which didn't have a card reader. I'll remember that next time I go. So here are some memories of South Australia. We saw so many camels, well over a thousand, herds and herds of them, many grouped under the desert oaks as shown in the photo. We also saw several herds of wild horses, and dozens of donkeys. I saw a lizard on the road as well, big one, possibly a perente.

The Cauldron of Fire that is Central Australia

     Yeah, it's hot. It's stinking hot. I'm in northern South Australia on the APY lands and it is sweltering. My team and I are staying in a company house that reportedly has air conditioning but I'm not convinced it's working. It is equipped with a swampy, which doesn't seem to be making much difference. There is also a box air conditioner, the kind you put in the window except it's sitting on top of the freezer with it's back against the wall. You have to keep adding water to it too. It marginally cools the space around it, but with everyone cooking on the gas stove, it was less than effective. I could not possibly cook on the gas stove in this heat, and had wished the others passed up on it, but no, apparently 45C heat is not too hot to cook in.
     The day was off to a rocky start. We had planned an early start so as to actually get some work done once we arrived. 8:30am turned into 11:00am. We managed to fuck around most of that time trying to get a fridge that worked. We packed two different trucks, only to swap out again in the end and sling the bloody travel fridge in the back. One would think these things would be maintained by the maintenance guys, but one would be wrong. We should have sorted it out yesterday ourselves, but that was another frustration in itself. We had the truck we planned on taking brought into the garage so it wouldn't be so hot to pack in the morning, but then we couldn't get the roller door down, and yours truly managed to pull the damn chain off the wheel, so had to wait for someone to come to fix it.
     We also had to search for keys for part of the morning to the house here and the extra truck keys. We finally manage to get everything packed in the bloody truck which was now parked outside in the sweltering 40C heat of the morning, and then the gate on the truck wouldn't close because the fridge was too big. Rip out half the stuff in the back again, reposition the fridge,and repack the back for the 4th time. We finally get on the road 2.5 hours late, and blast the air con in the truck to cool us all down now that we're soaked in sweat.
     We finally arrive in Ernabella and see one of our clients before heading to Umuwa where we are staying. Nice enough house. Hot as a sauna. It took a over an hour to sort out the air conditioning and then the gas stove didn't work. Checked the propane - it was leaking fiercely. Great. What else can go wrong???
   So here I sit at 11:10pm in a sweltering house. The other three are in their swags out in the living room where the air conditioner is, but I cannot possibly sleep in a swag as the mattress is only about 3 inches thick, if that, on a hardtile floor. There is no sofa either, just a loveseat and two chairs that are fake leather, real nice to stick to in this heat. I've put water, juice and cokes in the fridge hours ago and nothing has chilled past tepid...I am dying for a frosty glass of water, but alas, it shall not happen here. The others have all bedded down for the night but I sit here swatting an assortment of bugs and beetles that keep coming through the screened windows I have open to let in some of the cooler night air. My room is like a furnace room. There are ceiling fans, and I bought a fan to bring with me but they offer little to no comfort. I can't even take a cold shower because there is no cold water. Water in Australia does not get cold from the cold water taps, not here anyway. There is warm and hot.  The only relief is that the truck has good air conditioning and becauseonly two of us have bush driving experience/training, I get to sit in the front and blast the air con in my face. We have a bit of driving to do over the next couple of days, so at least I can be comfortable for a few hours a day. I was so hot and frustrated tonight I had myself a little cry into my pillow away from the others. They were busy watching Bridget Jones stupidity - Renee Zellwegers voice is like nails on a chaulkboard so I couldn't bear to even be in the same room.

Get me out of this cauldron of fire...can't wait to get home on Thursday.