I May Never Sleep Again

So I woke last night to find this over my head. I had slept in the living room (aka lounge room in Oz), and felt Dundee jumping up and down off the sofa so I opened my eyes to see what he was after, thinking it's just another moth as they come in when I have the door open. He usually eats them or I swoosh them out. It was not a moth. It was a big fucking spider. It was THIS spider. See those glaring eyes? He was thinking, dammit, she woke up before I could drop down on her face and make her scream. Why isn't she screaming now? Truth is, if it was in the middle of the day, I would have howled like a banshee. However, it was the middle of the night and I did not wish to wake all of my neighbors who may or may not speak any English. I've only heard them speak their own languages since I moved in. Anyhow...time to kick start my heart again and come up with a plan. One of us had to go.

After the great ant infestation at Chewings Street, I had some leftover Raid. It was for crawling insects...I know spiders mostly jump and fly on webbing. Fuck, I can hardly talk about it right now...gotta wrap this post. Should have added the photos last. I don't even want to see them! Anyhow, I Raid the fuck out of this spider and he drops to the sofa where I had laid a sheet over top so I could take the whole thing and shake it out. He dropped and curled into a ball, so I hit him with another dose of Raid. He is still squirming so I flick the sheet into the toilet and hold down the button for maximum flush...and then I began breathing again. Of course sleeping in the living room was OVER for the night. I had to head into the warmness of my bedroom for the last few hours of sleep...if it came at all.

I did manage to drop off eventually, once my heartbeat dropped below 100...I wasn't sure what kind of spider it was at the time and all I could think about was did he bring any friends? I found out throughout the day that it was a Huntsman spider, non lethal, but BIG. Like that makes much difference at the end of the day. It's a big fucking spider. That's it.

That brings me to tonight. So I'm sitting out in the coolness of the night with Dundee on the balcony and happen to look up and see THIS guy. I may have to move.