Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Trams and Trains

Part of being a Melbournite is embracing public transit. I have to say, there seems to be a pretty extensive system here between the trams and train, not to mention the many buses. I'm not much of a fan of buses but I have to say I love the trams and trains. This is the first time since 1985 that I've lived in a city large enough for trams and trains. The last time was when I lived in Mississauga oh so many years ago. And there is nothing more fascinating than people watching on public transit...Melbourne folks never fail to disappoint either. Here are a few observations...
- on the tram home from work, this lady came on, barefoot, scruffy, dirty, and holding a juicebox. She appeared to be about 30 years old, but it was hard to tell. She was talking to herself and at first, I thought, she must be on her cell phone, but it quickly became apparent that no, she was indeed talking to herself, rambling on about pie in the sky, purple people eaters, flock of seagulls, and a whole lot of other nonsense. She was very worked up about things and was ranting about how people are not going to tell her what to do, you can bet on that...oh, and did I mention she was crawling on all fours at the time....
- mobile phones and tablets are taking over the world. Seriously. People are no longer interacting with each other in public spaces. Instead they are gathering in order to communicate with other people, instead of communicating with the people right in front of them. I see people all over the trains, platforms, and simply walking down the street while texting. Australians are obsessed with mobile phones. Many are playing games to pass the time, and I'll admit, I do this on occasion - Candy Crush seems to be quite popular here at the moment. Look out though if you happen to forget to mute the sound - other commuters will lose their fucking shit over it and demand that you turn it down or off.
- there is a rule that school students must surrender their seats to any adult that asks, which I think is interesting. Few will offer on their own, but I have seen several adults who advise the young students to stand up and let someone else sit down. I've had seats offered to me several times too, not by students but just random people. At first I wasn't sure why - did I look haggard? Ill? Tired? Disabled? No - turns out I just looked pregnant. No, I am not pregnant. I am just fat. I have a fat stomach that has popped out through the muscles in my stomach for the past several years. It was bad enough when the nuns in Cambodia assumed that I was, but now it's happening here. So my feeling about it is - if you are dumb enough to think this old lady is pregnant, then I will happily take your seat, thank-you very much. 
- there is an abundance of transit staff. These neon vested folks are everywhere, offering help, making sure no one gets pushed off the platform in the crowds, and signaling the driver that it's all clear. In addition to this, there are ticket police who jump on at any time and randomly check to see that people have paid to ride the train. They don't use coins or tokens anymore, just a card called Myki. You purchase the card for $6 and then add funds to it, swiping on to get access to the train platforms, and swiping off when you depart the stations. The major stops have gates that won't open unless you swipe, kind of like the older turnstiles used to do, however the smaller ones have no gates or turnstiles, so you could easily ride for free. The problem is if you get caught, it could be a fine of over $200 for not paying your $3.50 fare. They can tell just by swiping your Myki card through their reader. If you have not swiped on, then you're screwed. There are thousands of people who do not swipe. When I get on the trams, I only see about 20% of people actually swiping their cards. I'm one of them.
- the trams and trains seem to run on time most of the time, which is great. There are also phone/tablet apps that let you check to see where and when the next tram or train is. This comes in very handy when you don't know where the hell you are but need to catch a train or tram. It uses the GPS on your phone or tablet to locate the nearest stop, and then can tell you when the next tram/train is coming. Very helpful.
- the conversations I overhear are sometimes priceless. It's funny how people seem to forget they are in public, surrounded by strangers who can hear their every word. They talk about the most private of matters from embarrasing health ailments to last night's sexcapades, to how much they hate their boyfriend and why. What I get the biggest kick out of is that these conversations sometimes end up in the Metro paper - you know, that freebie daily newspaper that we get waved in our face at public transit stations. The section is called "Overheard", and some of the entries are just hilarious. People are so fucking dumb sometimes...
- I feel like I am living in the United Nations. There are people from every race and ethnic background here in Melbourne. I don't think there are any folks not represented, and I can overhear a dozen languages on just one ride. I love that about Melbourne. The bulk of immigrants are of course Asians, given we are so close to Asia here, but also highly represented are Eastern Europeans, Africans, and I believe half of the UK has moved to Australia - so many Welsh, Irish, Scottish and English here, they nearly outnumber the Aussies! My office is no exception. 
- hailing the tram almost seems surreal - once the tram approaches the stop, people just walk out into the street towards it like zombies. Cars must give way to the tram when it stops, kind of like a school bus - the little sign on the side comes out with STOP written on it and God help you if you drive around the tram while people are getting off and crossing to the sidewalk - they lose their fucking shit - HEY I'M WALKING HERE!!! I've seen the tram drivers get pretty testy too when cars crowd the tram and he's trying to make a turn - they just open their window and shout out to them "hey stupid, I'm gonna trash your car if you don't move off from my path - GET OUT OF THE WAY!!" I'm not sure what brain trust these car drivers belong to - clearly you give way to something that is 20 times as heavy as your little Ford Escort...he can and WILL crush you.
- backpacks are evil, particularly if people are wearing them on the train/tram and fidget about. I nearly got slammed in the face several times by this one high school student who had the hugest backpack on her back and every time she moved, it swung within an inch or so from my face. I was about to tell her off when someone else beat me to it and demanded that she take the backpack off before she "hit that lady in the face". 
- the trams and trains are clean - and I mean mostly spotless clean. No rubbish, no graffiti, no stained seats. The only thing they do not seem to be able to combat is what people scratch into the plexiglass windows. Everything else is quite presentable. Even the stations and platforms are clean. I'm not sure how they do it, but it's rather impressive. The only mess I see consistently is at the end of the Footscray tram line - there are several garbage bins, but by the end of the day they are always overflowing onto the ground. At least the effort is made I guess. What they really need is a better bounty system on the deposit items like cans and bottles. Instead of lining them up to be collected like they do in Canada, they are simply all tossed in the garbage bins. Australia is very far behind in that regard - recycling does not seem to be a priority. 
- people of all walks of life seem to take the trains and trams. I think it's wonderful - I couldn't imagine how much more clogged with traffic the streets of Melbourne would be without such great public transit. 

I hear the trams pass my building all night long. I think they finish about 2am and start again at 5am. I thought it might bother me more, but now I've just gotten used to hearing it rock on by...rock on.

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