Do You Speak English?

So last night we had a bit of drama. I got up at 2am feeling sick to my stomach so headed to the bathroom, but instead sat down on the can (sorry, TMI but it ties into the story). I'm not quite sure what happened next, but apparently my daughter heard a moan from me and then a loud CRASH. She came to the door to see what happened, tapping on the door and calling out my name, and got nothing, then finally just opened the door to find me on the floor, having passed out somehow and smashed my head and teeth on the wall or floor. I had fallen off the toilet with my shorts and undies around my knees and was out for nearly a minute before she came in and I woke to hear her calling out "mom, are you alright???". I wasn't. I don't know what the hell happened, but clearly I passed right out and smashed my head and teeth, chipping my front teeth both top and bottom, and splitting my head out a little and got quite a bonk on this big giant head. I felt like absolute rubbish after that but it finally passed and then I was a little afraid to go to sleep, just in case I had a concussion. My neck was killing me, probably a bit of whiplash from the fall. My daughter was understandably freaked out...thankfully I settled okay and no more upset stomach, but had a pounding headache and a terribly sore neck. Took some Panadol (like Tylenol) and managed to get back to sleep for a few more hours. I haven't passed out in many years, having only passed out 3 times in my life until now. Funnily enough, twice before in the bathroom, but for different reasons - once after I gave birth - first trip to the bathroom, and once as a young teenager after my brother slammed my finger in a door, I happened to knock it in the bathroom somehow and woke up on the floor between the toilet and sink. This one tops the list though - never really hurt myself before. This time I crashed into marble walls and tile floor. 

So this morning when we woke, we got ready to head to the Canadian Embassy to start sorting out my temporary passport. Of course, since nothing is easy...it took awhile. We had to go off in search of a bank machine that would take foreign cards first as we had no cash left for a taxi. We managed to find one not too far away but it didn't open until 9am, so we had a bit of a wait. Got the cash okay, no fuss and headed out to find a taxi to the Embassy. Not an easy task. We had two stop for us and had no idea where we wanted to go. Apparently most taxi drivers only read script and not the English versions of the street addresses. It took about an hour of walking and trying to hail taxis who didn't know where we wanted to go. Finally managed to get a young gal to speak a bit of English and tell him where to go. We landed at the Embassy with claps of joy that we finally found the damn thing! We then had to pass through scrutiny and security before being admitted to the Embassy and headed right up to the Consular Services section. The first person I spoke to was French Canadian - was I ever glad to speak to a Canadian!!! We found out I needed to get a police report and new passport photos as I only had one and they wouldn't accept it as it didn't meet the criteria. I has used the others for my Cambodian visa some years ago. The one VERY LUCKY thing is I needed a guarantor and they accepted Amber who had her passport and visa, so that was good. Then I had to provide two references of people they could call to confirm my identity. With the time difference, it would be tricky as we were nearing 11am and many would be heading to bed in Canada. I could use Australian friends, but they can't call them direct from the Embassy - they have to contact the Canadian Embassy in Australia and have them make the calls. I filled out all the necessary forms and found out I can get my temporary passport in 3-4 days, depending on how hard it was to contact my references.  Then she gave us direction sheets in English and script to find the police station to get a police report, and a photo studio to get photos. Then we headed out to get some lunch as we hadn't eaten since supper the night before. We managed to locate an Italian restaurant across from the Embassy, and the pizza was really good, but drinks and pizza was a bit pricey - we just weren't up for experimenting after my bathroom episode and my daughter burning her mouth on supper's spice. My daughter noted that the cashier spoke good English so I went back in to ask him if he knew where the passport photo place was. He told me there was a much closer one just 3 minutes walk from there and then left with us to show us the way. He then spoke to the photographer (old Chinese lady with an ordinary digital camera) and got me sorted there. It happened to be in the same building as a chemist, so I also got him to tell the chemist I wanted an antidiarrhea medication and my daughter needed cold meds. Mine came in all script, but the cold meds were Tylenol cold and flu, so perfect. What a nice young man to do all of that for us!

After lunch we headed to the Police station (or so we thought) for the police report. Turns out she sent us to the Visa and Passport office for China...and they do not do police reports. Great. Now what? so the gal at the office wrote me a note in script and English telling the police at the train station that I made a report about my passport but they did not give me a report - please give me a police report. Well, little did we know how damn complicated that was. She told us to go to the train station where I lost it as I did report it to the transit police but they did not give me any report. Off we go to the train station...spoke to the first guy we saw who then went off in search of someone else who might know what to do. We traipsed around the train station for hours, following one person after another to little offices here and there, being told to wait, wait, one second and then having no idea what I wanted, despite the note I had in script. I had met a lady at the Embassy who was Chinese and gave me her phone number to call if I needed translation, so we tried her. Nope, train staff could not do what I asked, and then they took us to the small police station at the train station and had an hour of debate with a guy there - no help. Then a transit policeman took us to the subway and went one stop with us and walked to another police station, told them a little of what I needed and left. No one spoke much English of course but we finally worked out they wanted us to wait for someone who spoke English to take my statement as they cannot take one otherwise. Perfect, he finally arrived from another staton and took my statement and typed it up all official like and we were off to the Visa and Passport office again. It took awhile to get a cab but we finally got one and we thought at first we were being taken on another goose chase but then lo and behold, we arrived at the right place. Ran in with just 15 minutes to spare and got my Certificate of lost passport which the hotel will take and the Embassy needs, and got her to make me a copy too. By then it was too late to go back to the Embassy as they had closed, but at least I had the photos, police report and Certificate I needed for the hotel. It started to rain a bit but we got lucky and hailed a cab in rush hour and headed back to the hotel, once the driver phoned them and asked for directions - despite me having the hotel card with the address in script. My daughter was convinced he didn't know where he was going but he had put it in his GPS and we arrived eventually in the rush hour traffic. It began to peck a bit of rain, so we decided to grab some supper and drinks from the shops nearby and head back to the hotel for the night. We managed to get there just in time before the rains began to DOWNPOUR!!! We had our supper and a couple of long neck Chinese beers (actually pretty good beer and cheap as) and have retired to our room to dry out and get comfy. My daughter finally managed to find a VPN to access Facebook and Google, so I can post my own blog posts from now on, yahoo, and update Facebook. I didn't miss it that much but my daughter sure did!

Tomorrow we head back to the Embassy to hand in my papers and photos and then we are finally going to play tourist and see some of the sights. We have been trying to see the silver lining in our ordeal, and it will be one hell of a story to tell about our trip. We did meet many very nice people so far who were willing to help us with the language barrier. At times the barrier feels 100 feet tall but at others, not so much when we find someone who can understand what we are asking. The lady at the Visa office was also quite lovely and friendly. I still have to take my passport back to them and apply for yet another Chinese Visa straight away as it takes 7 days to get. Thankfully they are open on Saturday. If it doesn't come on time, I'm not sure what the hell I will do but as Scarlett O'Hara said - I'll worry about that tomorrow. 





Sent from my iPad